When Parenthood Gets Hard

No one likes to be tested. But there are times when we are inevitably faced with the challenges of reality. And that's when we find out what we're really made of, what's really inside of us, what really resides in our heart. And often we are weak. Often we are not the people God wants us to be.

We just came off of a few days of sickness. All of us were sick. Most of it was cold related--stuffy nose or runny nose, sore throat, cough. I was dealing with fatigue, Ethan's nose was runny, David's nose was stuffy. But then in the middle of aisle 8 at our local grocery store it all changed. Ethan threw up. Was it the stomach flu? Food poisoning? The boy threw up four more times in the next two hours, and for the first part of the night he woke up every hour to gut wrenching heaves. I never thought I could feel so sorry, until the next day.

Taking care of a toddler is hard when you are running on very little sleep. Luckily, Ethan was much better. It must have been a 24 hour thing, because he was back to his normal, hyper self. Except that he woke up at 4:30am! How could he have such energy after not sleeping so well (mom and dad certainly didn't sleep that well, either)? Dad stayed up with him till he had to get to work, then I got up to start my day. What was usually routine for me became insurmountable. Disobedience, temper tantrums, getting into things, feeding Ethan a meal, all became impossible to tolerate. I was heading for a mommy meltdown! And yes, Ethan was better, but he was just as impatient as mommy was. How many times did I cry out in anger? How long did I allow Elmo to be his babysitter?! And here is where I know I will fail time and time again as a mom. That thought is both comforting and frustrating. While I know that many other parents struggle as I do, in all the same areas as I do, I also believe that I need to rise above that and not accept what statistics tell me. I need to be better than that! These past few days, I was not.

We got through it, but not without one more visit to the doctor a couple of days later. And sure enough, our little boy had yet another ear infection. Definitely a contributor to his crankiness. And with the antibiotics kicking in, Ethan is not only back to his normal self, he is more patient and cheerful, too. Mommy and daddy are back to their normal, well-rested selves, too. Until next month when his next ear infection sets in. Please, winter, give us a break!

The funny thing is, we haven't even gotten to the REAL tough stuff of parenthood. Oh, I know I'll have to buckle my seatbelt for that when that comes. When I think of those times to come, I often ask God, "Oh, what have You in store for me? What other lessons will You teach me?"