Watching and waiting

Today felt like a whole new world for me. Growing up, my family wasn't big into sports. In fact, we didn't watch or play sports at all! For the past several years we have watched Ethan play a variety of sports, but today was his first game playing "competitive" football.

The energy of the fans was palpable, and surprising to me. And refreshing. In the past, I've always felt a little self-conscious about my loud cheering, clapping and let's be frank, YELLING. It was nice to not be the only one for once.

With it being Ethan's first year on this league, I knew the chances of him playing quarterback (as he had done in his flag football league)were slim. Still, I hoped that during the last four weeks of practice he would get the opportunity to show the coaches what he's got, and that perhaps he might make a good impression. However, in the last two weeks of practice, it became evident that they had chosen their go-to players. Not only that, Ethan hadn't really gotten the chance to do many qb drills, and he was going to play a position for which he probably wasn't well suited.

We are all okay with this. He loves the game.

But as I watched him watching from the sidelines I couldn't help but shed a few tears behind my sunglasses. I know what it's like to wait. And hope. He got to do one play today, but it ended so quickly and I could sense his frustration. I could also see his patience, forbearance. He was going to wait for his chance on the field and be ready for that moment no matter what.

Watching him today reminded me of my own life's journey. He reminded me that as we wait expectantly for the next big thing, what are we doing to be prepared for it?

Ethan is 7 !

Seven years. I can't believe how quickly that time has passed.

In the past twenty minutes I have typed, erased, retyped, erased several sentences...it seems I can't even put into words how I feel, but yet I feel the need to record as much as I can. I have the worst memory, but everyday is filled with wonderful treasures...ones that I wish I would never forget.

Ethan is an amazing boy...smart, funny, high energy, imaginative, creative. He never ceases to amaze me with what he can make, whether it be out of Legos, or out of paper, scotch tape and markers.

Ethan can understand humor and jokes now...sometimes he and I laugh at life together.

He's tall (like his dad), and he stands just a few inches below my shoulder.

He's a responsible older brother and looks out for his two younger sisters. He keeps Kate in line (yikes), and makes sure baby Annabel doesn't eat anything she's not supposed to!

He likes to read and make things. He also keeps asking me for a Nintendo DS! In the meantime, he is wicked good at Rayman Jungle Run on my iPad.

Peanut butter and jelly, pepperoni pizza, and Oreo cookies are some of his favorite foods.

He is a creature of habit, like his dad. He gets a bit bent out of shape if we alter his routine.

He is vocal, like his mom. He expresses EVERYTHING with words.

I should mention that today is also Easter Sunday. For the past several weeks, Ethan has been talking about getting baptized on this day. What a cool thing! We've been careful to not jump the gun here (and no, he did not get baptized today), but the spiritual talks we've had have been inspiring. From a young age, he has asked questions about life and death ("what happens when we die?"). Star Wars has prompted discussions about good and evil (thank you, Anakin Skywalker). We can tell that he senses the tension between the two, and his desire to do what's right usually outweighs his desire to do what he wants to do (but not always). He has also shared with us that he has asked Jesus to "come into his heart."

Wow.

We are so blessed by Ethan. I can't wait to see what God has in store for him.

Happy Birthday, Ethan!

Ethan's 6th Birthday

It's hard to believe...6 years old! Ethan's birthday celebration had a lego theme to it this year, and we invited his friends over to have some lego building time.

It started with a little scavenger hunt of lego minifigures I cut out of paper and hid all over the back yard....the more you found, the more candy you got to take home!

 Then the boys spent a good deal of time building lego race cars. As part of Ethan's birthday gift, we bought him a lego set that included a variety of vehicles. Each of the boys drew a number, which corresponded to a car "kit" and instructions. Some cars were definitely harder than others!

Here are the boys outside with their cars...ready to race!

Our makeshift race track...

After a series of rounds and eliminations, we have a winner-- his old friend, Grant (in the middle), along with Ethan "H", the runner up! As the first place winner, Grant got to keep his car!

After the race, was snack time of course! I tried to stay with the lego theme with lego cheese and crackers, lego juice boxes, and square and circle shapes in general. Ethan loves donuts, so that was much easier than a lego cake!

I think they all had a great time. I certainly did!

Bragging Rights

David and I got a neat email today from Ethan's kindergarten teacher. I just had to post it here for all of you to read for yourselves...check it out : 

I wanted to just share a fun Ethan story.  Yesterday, I had a website up on the smartboard and Ethan told the kids, “It says, Welcome to Your Library” and he was right!  Every day he is amazing me with the new things he can read.  I also assessed him again yesterday on the 61 kindergarten words.  He got 57/61!  When he finishes up the kindergarten list (which I am sure will be soon) I am going to start him on the first grade list.   I’ll send a copy to you when we get to that point.  I am so proud of him!

And we are proud, too! Amazed at far he's come along. We always knew he was good with words, knowing his letters and numbers at a very early age, but to see it all come together in a just a few months has got David and me beaming with pride!!!

Kindergarten

It's been over two months since Ethan started kindergarten and the transition has been a wonderful one! He's made new friends, learned new skills, LOTS of vocabulary from his peers (yikes! Nothing lewd yet), and he's learned to read.

Most mornings dad takes him to school (we live too close for the bus route), but on those mornings when I take him I am often overwhelmed by the same feeling. It's not sadness, not pain (though it's a kind of pain), not regret...

It always happens when I say goodbye to him and he trots off to join his classmates in line. Something about this image of him walking--no running--away from me, fills my eyes with tears and pulls at my heart strings like nothing else.

These are the bittersweet things about growing up. He's only five, but already he does not reach for my hand when we walk across the street. He packs his own bag, gets himself dressed and makes his own bed. I am thrilled at his independence, but these little moments are also a practice in letting him go...because one day he will indeed leave me for good.

Ok...enough of the sob stories...I'm hormonal, and have good reason to be. But that is another post...

These are photos from the first half day of school...

And his first full day...

He is a happy boy in his school...eager to learn new things. And I always anticipate 3:30 when he comes home and tells me about his day :)

Ethan's First Day of Kindergarten--a father's perspective

From my husband's Facebok post today:

Excuse the reflective note…I just dropped Ethan off for his first day of Kindergarten…

I was born in 1961 and started school in the mid-sixtys so some of this may be unkown to you. Do you remember the old TV show “Father Knows Best”?  Well, I have inadvertently become Robert Young’s character all the way down to the names of our children…Let me explain…  I realized two days ago that I usually call Ethan by the name “Bud” and Kate by the name Kit Kat.  If you ever watched the show, you know that the boys name is Bud and the youngest girl is Kathy or Kit Kat.  Now, Robert Young also often referred to the oldest girl as “Princess” and I often call Kate that as well….so here I am in a sitcom re-run living the life.  So as a “super” father  to be, here are some things I learned as I watched Ethan stand in line with the other boys and girls today before they went into class …

1. Ethan is NOT the tallest child in his class( a little disappointed about this).  Though he is tall, there are some GIANT kindergartners out there!  Maybe they’re 6 and not 5?
2. You must have a back pack now and most of them are larger than the child who is wearing them.  When we were kids , there were no backpacks, right?  I don’t remember any.  In fact, I remember always having to carry my books wrapped in paper book covers and my lunch in a brown paper bag (you can’t do that anymore either, it has to be a Star Wars lunch box).
3. Kids don’t tie their shoes anymore (all Velcro) and their teachers don’t teach them to tie shoes anymore.
4. Parents are MUCH more involved in their kids day to day life than when we were kids…there were moms AND dads there to see off their kids off and parents are allowed to eat with their children at lunch every day (and do).

We must have done something right…Ethan has been excited about school for weeks.  He stood in line today happily and even knew several of the boys and girls from other activities in town.  I vividly remember my first day in Kindergarten in New Jersey (we had just moved there in the middle of the year).  I cried the entire time!  I don’t think I talked or interacted with another child until the end of the year (the beginning of my shy period).  Fortunately, I eventually got over it, but I’m so glad that Ethan wont have to deal with all of that…one small victory in parenthood…

Graduation

It's been several weeks now, but much to the chagrin of my no-nonsense hubby, Ethan's preschool had a big "to-do" for his graduation day (May 24). It was an end of the year program complete with a class performance, procession, slide show, receiving diplomas, and REAL cap and gown complete with tassel!

But, hey, it's our son. We were there. And yes, I choked up a bit.

Here he is receiving his diploma (click here to view video). Kindergarten, here we come!

Ethan's Pre-K Fall Program

Ethan's school hosted a family cookout with a little program to close. Each of the three classes prepared a song that they performed.

I never thought little kids could be so cute and tug at my heart strings so much! Here's Ethan with his class singing "The Butterfly Song" If you get my updates via email you'll need to go directly to my blog to view the video. http://snyderfamilynews.blogspot.com/

Ethan's 4th b-day party

Finally...a little playdate for my little guy. As you may remember we had to cancel his celebration last week because he was sick. Here he is with his best buds today at our local McDonalds.

Here is the "baby table"

And the birthday "cake"

Ethan's 4th b-day video

Here is a video from Ethan's birthday. Can't wait till we get to celebrate with his friends!

Birthday Boys

The month of March is when I celebrate the two special guys in my life. David and Ethan! It's been a very busy month for us with lots of travel. David's birthday weekend brought us to Michigan for a wedding, and Ethan's special day was interrupted by sickness! Our celebrations have been low-key--a favorite meal, a favorite sweet treat and a few presents. I have to admit, I feel guilty that both these celebrations were not the big "to-do's" that we've tried in years past.

Ethan has had a high fever for the past 3 days, so we had to cancel his birthday play date. Today, he is much better and was able to enjoy some birthday fun. Hopefully we can have his party next week!


You might be wondering about the donuts. Ethan doesn't like cake! So we thought we'd improvise. Sugared donuts are his favorite.

Halloween 2009

It's hard to believe, but we convinced Ethan to participate in the Halloween festivities this year!

Some of you might remember Ethan's experience at Halloween last year, and ever since then he has been afraid of certain things--weird lights, larger than life puppets or snowmen, jack-o-lanterns are not to be passed within ten feet. It's pretty bad. But for the past few days I've been trying to show him the fun side of Halloween. And this year there were a lot of fun stuff planned in our town.

Halloween morning I came down dressed in my "princess outfit". It's actually a bridesmaid dress from a wedding I attended several years ago. Ethan was very impressed with it. I told him it was my princess costume. He said he wanted a costume, too (a lion costume, that is). He thought being a lion was a good idea. After breakfast, we all decided to go shopping for costume and we found him none other than Thomas. It was love at first sight for him!

That afternoon we went to a princess/birthday/pumpkin (not halloween) party. All the kids were in costume and Ethan was happy to be in his costume, too! Yay! Success! Halloween is fun!


Here is Kate as a butterfly princess.

After the party we went home to eat a quick dinner and do some trick or treating for the FIRST time. I couldn't believe it! We explained to Ethan what trick or treating was, and he was definitely excited about the idea of getting treats and candy. While he wouldn't go to any houses that had jack-o-lanterns, we had plenty of houses in the neighborhood to choose from. While we were gone, Dad stayed home to finish feeding Kate her dinner. We figured she wouldn't want any candy!

After trick or treating we went to a local church's halloween event. Inflatables, games and candy for all! Ethan stayed on the inflatable slide with his friend, Asher, almost the entire time. He did, however, have some jumping time with Kate. The kids were pooped that night! Despite all that, they still woke up at their usual time and didn't take advantage of daylight savings.

Potty Progress

Last week, this whole potty training thing came to a head. For the past month or so David has taken most of the responsibility for it, since I was up to my ears with Kate, the house, and Ethan's attitude regarding the potty. But then David decided he was done with the whole training, too. It was getting the best of both him and Ethan, and we needed to re-evaluate.



So, we switched. I took Ethan, David took Kate. It was now my turn to deal with the madness again! But at least it would be on my own terms :)


We decided to go back to just underwear (rather than the pull-ups) and let Ethan learn the hard way. No more reminding him, no more nagging him. So, we covered up the furniture as best we could, got the carpet cleaning spray to the ready, and let Ethan "go". Rather than going bare-bottomed (as some recommend), we decided we cared too much about our personal belongings! We figured his underwear and clothing might catch most of the mess.


After two accidents, something clicked. We were at the playground when it happened. Ethan had wet himself and we took him to the porta John to change him (not fun). When we got home there was definitely a different feeling in the air.


"Mommy, are you okay?" Ethan said.
"No, Ethan," I replied. "I'm sad."
"Mommy, you upset?" he pushed.
"No, sweetie. I'm just sad."


And I was sad. While none of the kids cared (they probably didn't notice), the image of Ethan being taken to the bathroom, huge wet stain and all, kinda burned me. I had never felt public humiliation before.


That night before bed, as is our custom, I asked Ethan to use the potty. He obediently went, no protests, no tears. I realized that while fruit snacks and treats are a good start to positive motivation, nothing motivates Ethan more like wanting mommy and daddy to be happy. He just wants us to love him and be happy with him.


This changed our approach entirely.

Here we are a week later. Ethan is still in underwear and hasn't had any accidents! He still hasn't gone on his own (meaning of his own volition), but he goes everytime we ask him with very few protests. This is a HUGE breakthrough for us. Of course he wears a pull-up at bedtime and naptime, but we've made huge headway in that area too! This morning he woke up dry. I asked him to use the potty (again, no protests!), and he went. In all 3 years and 4 months of his life he has woken up wet and/or dirty, so this is quite the miracle.


It's funny. Recently, David told me if God could answer one prayer, and it was between our old house selling and Ethan being potty trained, he would take the latter. Oye! I guess we'll be making double house payments for a while...

Ethan Goes off the Deep End

On the second to last day of swim lessons the kids got to jump off the diving board into the deep water. Yikes! I didn't think Ethan would do it, but he saw his friend Asher go during the last session and he wanted to do it, too. Enjoy the video...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OB2jJspvLHo

Swimming!

Ethan started formal swimming lessons this week. For $30 he will go to swim class everyday, Monday through Thursday for two weeks. The 30 minute session gives him some good one on one instruction since his section only contains four students! Parents get to watch from the sidelines as their kids learn anything from the basics to the more advanced techniques. Here, Ethan gets the hang of holding on to the wall and kicking his legs.

They also teach him how to float...

And they often do group activities together, holding hands in a circle as they move about in the water.

I love this aquatic center because it has a zero depth pool where Ethan can comfortably go as deep into the water as he likes.

Potty Training STINKS

For the past month we've had a second go around at potty training Ethan. I hate it. I can't believe how much I hate this.

We've tried a few approaches. In January we attempted the "one day approach", pumping him with juice and salty snacks while letting him run around in just cotton underwear. The philosophy behind this is the more he eats and drinks, the more opportunity he has to go, and in 5 hours you can get your kid to use the potty chair. While this did indeed give him the urge, he did not like peeing on himself. He did not like sitting on the potty either. As a result, he would withhold. Oh, the pain he was in! He would only relieve himself in his diaper at naptime or bedtime when he could finally relax. I mean, this was causing some serious physical issues! He could really hurt himself, I thought. We ended up trying this approach for one week. While he did go in the potty a couple of times, the longer we trained the more he withheld. It was terrible. We decided we needed to back off and regroup.

Three months later here we are. We decided we needed to take a more laid back approach, focusing on giving him a positive attitude about the porcelain throne. We decided to put away the potty chair and just use a cushioned seat on top of the real thing (Ethan is so tall that none of the potty chairs we found seemed big enough for him). How about a reward system? What kind of rewards? Do we force liquids and salty snacks on him again, or just make sitting on the potty part of his routine? We decided to just incorporate it into his routine, use training pants to avoid messy accidents, and make a rewards chart where he put stickers everytime he successfully uses the pot.

We've been doing this for about 3 weeks now. He's still sometimes negative about the toilet, but at least we can get him to sit there. And the only times he has used the toilet was when we put him there ourselves and let him sit there for an extended amount of time (like 30 minutes!). We read books, sing songs, and lately we've put his portable DVD player so he can watch a video. This is REALLY sad, but we just don't know any other way. We say to ourselves, "If he could just eliminate in the toilet once, he'll get it!" No. Not really. I don't think he's made the connection between the physical sensation of "having to go" with actually walking over to the bathroom and using the toilet. Our only comfort is he knows how to pull down his pants and training pants.

I don't know how long this is going to take, but according to everyone I've talked to, it takes a long time. And it takes patience. I thought I was a patient person, but this experience has definitely challenged me in that area. Truth is, I don't have patience at all. I really wish someone else could do this for me. David has taken most of the responsibility for this, but I'm the one who spends the most time with Ethan. It is work I must do.

I know Ethan WILL learn to do this one day. I just need to remember that this, too, shall pass. And perhaps a year from now I'll hardly remember blogging about this...

Happy Birthday, Ethan!

March 31st marked Ethan's 3rd birthday! In lieu of a big "to do", we had a family celebration at home with pizza, cake, and presents, of course. Here is a video recap of our lunchtime celebration. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bN1llkwUKIg

Ethan trying out his new t-ball set from Aunt Gayle and Uncle Randy...


The next day, his friend, Kayela came over while her mommy went to a doctor's appointment. They came with a little gift for Ethan--his very first game, Chutes and Ladders!

We had a small window of opportunity (a few hours of good weather) to set up Ethan's new sand and water table from Grandma and Grandpa Cuesta. He had lots of fun digging his new Percy train in the sand. Thanks for the train set, Grandma and Grandpa Snyder! It's a great addition to Ethan's collection!

Happy Birthday, Ethan! We love you so very much. Everyday with you is a blessing! You are growing so fast and we can't wait to see what this next year brings. You're our number one guy!

One year later

It has been a year since Ethan's accident. For the past couple of weeks, I've been thinking about where we were one year ago. I don't know why. There were moments where I would just stop whatever I was doing, find myself lost remembering the events of that week, and start crying. This is what his arm looks like today. You can't tell from the picture, but the worst of his scarring is the one nearest his armpit. It's like a round nodule, and if you touched it, you would feel how hard that flesh is. To see "before" pictures from a year ago click here.

The rest of his scars have healed really well, though you can still see some discoloration of the skin, especially on the outside of is upper arm. His chest also has some discoloration but it is hardly noticeable.

It has been a long time since I revisited those trying events. I'm thankful to God that He pulled us through, that He blessed us with countless people who prayed for us, helped us in tangible ways. They were truly an outpouring of God's love and mercy. To read about it, click here: March 2008

Life has gotten a whole lot better...

...since we STOPPED potty training Ethan!

I should say, we've postponed the whole thing. The last week has been a nightmare, ending in what we feel like was a traumatic experience for Ethan who held his pee for so many hours that when he got to the toilet he couldn' relax. The poor kid eventually eliminated when he went to bed (he had a diaper on). Previous to this, we would put him on the toilet after snacks or meals, and he did pee successfully a few times. Other times he missed and made a mess! If he got anything on himself, he didn't like that one bit!

He understands the concept, but I don't think he has made the connection. Not only that, the big pressure we were putting on him made it worse. FYI to all those parents approaching potty training age: wait for your child's cue. Don't make him/her follow your schedule!

Because Ethan understands the concept, he still continues to ask us to empty his diaper contents into the toilet. He'll usually say something like "poo in the toilet" when he has a dirty diaper. So, it's not entirely hopeless. But that huge transition step into actually SITTING on the toilet and successfully using it might be several weeks (or months) away. I imagine that when he wants to use the toilet, he'll tell us. I hope it's sooner rather than later. He'll be turning three soon!

3 months old

Today is officially Kate's 3 month birthday! She has grown quite a bit in the past month. She is now fitting into her 3-6 month clothing, grasping objects, holding her head up better, and looking cuter everyday :)

It's hard to believe this much time has already passed. We're in the process of sleep training now. A month ago she slept 8 hours straight a few times, but has recently started waking up again. In those dark, quiet moments in the middle of the night I try to remember that this will not last forever. It's both an encouragement and a reminder about how precious these times are.

We're also potty training Ethan at the same time. But this is a whole OTHER blog entry to post :)