Kate's first few weeks

Ethan's Car Dealership

Ethan's favorite pastime is arranging his cars in a straight line. They have to be JUST right, or else he gets mad!

"When I get a shot at Satan, I'm taking him out..."

This is what my husband said to me this afternoon after having taken a short walk around the block with Ethan. On their way, they passed a house decorated for Halloween. According to David, when Ethan saw the fake bones on the lawn he stopped in his tracks. He made a face, backed away, and said, "scared".


"We've ruined our child," was the thought David and I had as he recounted this little episode to me. "He's scared of bones and flickering lights."


Two nights ago, a friend invited all of us for a little family outing to the local "Haunted Trail". Every year around the time of Halloween, a portion of the paved trail that goes through our town becomes bedecked with all things ghoulish and ghastly to celebrate the holiday. This particular night was touted as the "non-scary" night meant for kids. Our friend was careful to check on this, and David and I thought this would be fun for Ethan, especially since he hadn't seen his friends in a while. At the end of the trail were to be treats and hot chocolate for all, followed by a hayride back to the parking lot. What could be more harmless?




Off we went. It was the first time for all of us (three families in all). The line was long, as was the wait, but we finally reached the entrance. A young college student dressed as Dracula greeted us and gave us some general directions for walking the trail. His costume and painted face, which did strike a scary bone in me, probably should have been indication to turn around and forgo the trail, which turned out to be more intense than we thought.

Ethan hated it. No, I should say he was rather terrified. We walked the whole trail, Ethan clutching onto Daddy for dear life. He didn't scream or whine, but it was dark, so I didn't notice his face until we got well into the trail. He looked perturbed, eyes wide, and still. I then heard his scared whimperings. I told him to shut his eyes as we passed the monsters, the smoking cauldrons, the flickering fake fires. To their credit, the monsters were not trying to scare us (they are instructed NOT to). Instead, they said happy hellos. But the imagery was enough to scare our dear Ethan.

I sound melodramatic, don't I?

His two friends, who are about the same age, showed no fear. In fact, one of them walked beside his mommy completely unperturbed. The other, who was also being held by his daddy, didn't seem to be scared, though I was so caught up with Ethan that I may not have noticed. We finished the trail in the drizzle that started to come down, had some watered down hot chocolate, and hopped on the hayride truck. Ethan had never seemed so happy to get back to the van ("White car!" he calls it).

Ethan could not sleep in his room the entire night. He whimpered and cried until 10 o'clock. No amount of encouragement from Mommy or Daddy could comfort him. I finally asked him if he wanted to sleep with us, and he quietly said "uh huh". We've never had our son in bed with us, and we thought we would make this one exception. Five minutes later, he fell sound asleep. Luckily, the next night he did sleep in his room without too much fuss. But when Daddy tried to put a space heater in his room, Ethan said "No want," and he picked it up and put it outside his room. The space heater had a flickering light, not unlike some of the ones we saw on the trail that night.

I don't know anything about the psychology of fear. But my question is this: Do we learn to fear, or are we innately afraid of certain things?

No one taught Ethan to fear ghosts or witches; he doesn't even know what they are. And not one of us acted scared as we walked the trail. As far as we were concerned, we could have been strolling down the trail to admire the fall foliage (though it was dark). So why was Ethan scared? David likes to think that Ethan is blessed with heightened spiritual awareness and discernment and is therefore completely turned off by all things unholy. Maybe so; we'll never really know. To some extent, I believe there is indeed a God-given instinct in all of us that allows us to distinguish between the light and the darkness. Maybe Ethan is more responsive to this instinct than others.

It breaks my heart to see Ethan afraid. No one wants to instill fear in their kids. Gosh, have we really ruined him? Are these dark images forever imprinted in his young mind? I remember my dad used to drive me through a certain part of Central Park in the evening, where the trees were tall and you could barely see the sky. My dad would say, "Gargoyles!" and he would do that "ooooohhh, mwahahaha" type thing. "See the gargoyles?" he would say. "They're gonna getcha!" As a four year-old it got me every time-- I would lean in close and shriek in fear. I don't ever remember really believing in gargoyles, but perhaps the thought of what a creature like that would be was enough to plant the seeds of fear. Even fear of something that didn't exist. I have to admit, I never forgot those drives through Central Park, or those images of the dark trees above.

Well, David still wants to "take Satan out" for scaring our son, but I have to ask myself, "Should we as Christians be spiritually sensitive for our children?" Obviously, good Christian parents and children can enjoy the haunted trail without any negatives (and our friends are examples of this). But Ethan was obviously scared, and as the children's song says, "Be careful little eyes what you see."

We love visitors

Last Friday Kate had some more out of town visitors! My friends Liz and Heather came from Chicago to meet her in the flesh, and mommy definitely welcomed the time spent catching up with her good friends. It's not everyday that people elect to drive down to the country, ha ha ha! To my left are Liz with her daughter, Lauren, and Heather.

We spent the late morning opening gifts, staring at Kate, and watching Liz's daughter and Ethan fight and play. We then ordered in some pizza for all. David came home for lunch, and as we all sat around the table we were amazed to see Lauren's enthusiasm at eating corn on the cobb (her mommy had packed her lunch). "WOW," I thought to myself. Four days later, I handed Ethan a half cobb myself, and it looks like he picked up on Lauren's skills. He, too, ate it like a pro.

Here is some footage (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbiimISBwNI) from the visit, thanks to Liz, whose camera was ready to go at a moment's notice! As Lauren says "hi, Kate" watch for Kate's little smile...

My favorite son

Since Kate's arrival it's been hard spending quality time with Ethan. The day we came home from the hospital Ethan came down with a bad cold (and so did Daddy for that matter). This made things worse. "Ethan, here's your new sister, Kate. Don't touch her!" That went over really well! Not only did he have to stay away, he couldn't stay near me, either. A whole week has passed without our kisses and cuddles, and I was beginning to feel it. That in combination with the pool of hormones we call "baby blues", I found myself in tears late one night, crying over the days when it was just "us three", or "just Ethan and me." I was a basket case.

Then two days ago I got the chance to reconnect with my favorite son. Kate's eating and nap time fell just at the right time. I still had some energy that afternoon, and so I told grandma that Ethan and I were going to play in the backyard while she could take a break. David has taught Ethan how to turn on and off the garden hose, so now he can fill up his watering can all by himself (and not run up the water bill!). I hadn't seen him do this yet, and as I watched him turn on the hose, fill the watering can, and turn off the hose, it was like looking at a full-fledged little boy. He's just a toddler, almost a preschooler, but he seemed so much older, like so much time had passed. Look at this video and see for yourself.



Having Kate has made me love my son even more.

40 Weeks to the date

Here she is, folks! Kathryn Elise Snyder, born October 2nd, at 4:05 in the morning. 7lbs 4oz, 20 inches long.

After waiting and waiting and waiting I began to feel contractions Tuesday night after dinner. They were very mild, just like menstrual cramps. The next day, they continued at fairly regular intervals (about 20-30 minutes). Some were rather intense, to the point where I had to stop what I was doing. I called my midwife and told her what I'd been feeling, and she said that I was in early labor which could last a few hours or a few days. She then told me to call her back when they were 5 minutes apart. That evening they got to be 15-10 minutes apart, and they were feeling pretty intense. But when I wasn't having them, I felt pretty ok. We had dinner that night, watched a movie, put Ethan to bed and went to sleep. By this point, they were hurting, but still only 10 minutes apart!

At about 1 o'clock (after two or three hours of trying to sleep), I was stirred out of my dozing state by a really painful, long contraction that seemed to last forever. I quickly remembered and used my breathing techniques to get through it. When it was done, I started shaking uncontrollably. "Ok, " I thought. "I don't care if these are still 10 minutes apart, we're going to the hosptial!". I woke up David, told my parents (who were already staying with us), and off we went.

Once we got settled into our room, the nurse checked me for dilatation. She checked for much longer than usual. I said, "Do you need a second opinion?" She replied, "You know, I think I do." Another nurse came in, and then they both confirmed that I was just about fully dilated. WOW. They couldn't believe how calm I was, and that the contractions never got to 5 minutes. I couldn't believe it either. My midwife finally arrived, and she couldn't believe it either. All we had to do was break my water, and then push. And so we did.

It was an amazing experience. One that I anticipated, feared, and eventually surrendered to God. My desire for a natural childbirth was so great that I switched doctors and almost changed our insurance coverage. But in the end, I had to wonder why I desired this so much, and whether or not this is something that was right for me. My first childbirth experience was rather traumatic, and the recovery was long, so I didn't want to repeat that. It sounds weird, but I have to say that I desired this natural childbirth in the same way that I desired my college education at the University of Chicago: I wanted to challenge myself, say that I got through it, and that I accomplished one of the personal goals in my life. I don't have too many personal goals or dreams, but this was definitely one of them. Call me weird...

This is Laura, the midwife who delivered Kate. She is one of two midwives at my doctor's office.