For the past month we've had a second go around at potty training Ethan. I hate it. I can't believe how much I hate this.
We've tried a few approaches. In January we attempted the "one day approach", pumping him with juice and salty snacks while letting him run around in just cotton underwear. The philosophy behind this is the more he eats and drinks, the more opportunity he has to go, and in 5 hours you can get your kid to use the potty chair. While this did indeed give him the urge, he did not like peeing on himself. He did not like sitting on the potty either. As a result, he would withhold. Oh, the pain he was in! He would only relieve himself in his diaper at naptime or bedtime when he could finally relax. I mean, this was causing some serious physical issues! He could really hurt himself, I thought. We ended up trying this approach for one week. While he did go in the potty a couple of times, the longer we trained the more he withheld. It was terrible. We decided we needed to back off and regroup.
We've tried a few approaches. In January we attempted the "one day approach", pumping him with juice and salty snacks while letting him run around in just cotton underwear. The philosophy behind this is the more he eats and drinks, the more opportunity he has to go, and in 5 hours you can get your kid to use the potty chair. While this did indeed give him the urge, he did not like peeing on himself. He did not like sitting on the potty either. As a result, he would withhold. Oh, the pain he was in! He would only relieve himself in his diaper at naptime or bedtime when he could finally relax. I mean, this was causing some serious physical issues! He could really hurt himself, I thought. We ended up trying this approach for one week. While he did go in the potty a couple of times, the longer we trained the more he withheld. It was terrible. We decided we needed to back off and regroup.
Three months later here we are. We decided we needed to take a more laid back approach, focusing on giving him a positive attitude about the porcelain throne. We decided to put away the potty chair and just use a cushioned seat on top of the real thing (Ethan is so tall that none of the potty chairs we found seemed big enough for him). How about a reward system? What kind of rewards? Do we force liquids and salty snacks on him again, or just make sitting on the potty part of his routine? We decided to just incorporate it into his routine, use training pants to avoid messy accidents, and make a rewards chart where he put stickers everytime he successfully uses the pot.
We've been doing this for about 3 weeks now. He's still sometimes negative about the toilet, but at least we can get him to sit there. And the only times he has used the toilet was when we put him there ourselves and let him sit there for an extended amount of time (like 30 minutes!). We read books, sing songs, and lately we've put his portable DVD player so he can watch a video. This is REALLY sad, but we just don't know any other way. We say to ourselves, "If he could just eliminate in the toilet once, he'll get it!" No. Not really. I don't think he's made the connection between the physical sensation of "having to go" with actually walking over to the bathroom and using the toilet. Our only comfort is he knows how to pull down his pants and training pants.
I don't know how long this is going to take, but according to everyone I've talked to, it takes a long time. And it takes patience. I thought I was a patient person, but this experience has definitely challenged me in that area. Truth is, I don't have patience at all. I really wish someone else could do this for me. David has taken most of the responsibility for this, but I'm the one who spends the most time with Ethan. It is work I must do.
I know Ethan WILL learn to do this one day. I just need to remember that this, too, shall pass. And perhaps a year from now I'll hardly remember blogging about this...
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